


Banal Vhenan

by amaharra



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, More angst, Other, Post-Canon, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition, Seriously the first part is the fluffiest thing I've ever written in my LIFE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:11:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4715699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaharra/pseuds/amaharra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short drabble that was supposed to be cute but inevitably ended up being sad.<br/>Set 8 months after the end of Inquisition.<br/>------------------<br/>Bel'Era'Nellas Lavellan reflects back with Dorian on a seemingly insignificant moment shared with her now-missing lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Banal Vhenan

Her head was on his chest, going slowly up and down with each breath he took. His arm was slung across her waist while his free hand was entangled in her hair. He was humming something; a tune Bel’Era couldn’t quite place and yet it gave her feelings of nostalgia, of safety. It was a rare moment of peace in between matters of diplomacy and missions that sent them travelling for days on end. Needless to say, they were both more than ready for it. She turned her head and rested her chin on his chest, peering up at him until he opened his eyes. She smiled back at him when his eyes met hers.

“Are you having trouble sleeping, vhenan?” He asked quietly, stroking circles on the small of her back with his thumb. Bel’Era shrugged and pulled herself up, moving so that she was straddling his lap. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing, merely adjusting his position and folding his hands on his stomach as he looked up at her.

The fire in the fireplace bathed her in gold, and Solas’ could not stop his lips from curling into a smile at the sight of his lover. She smiled back at him and pushed an errant curl back from her face and behind her pointed ear.

“Your hair is getting long again ma’sa’lath,” Solas said as he sat up and drew her close to him. Her legs wrapped around his hips and she snorted, playfully bumping his nose with her own. “So’s yours,” she quipped back and he laughed, leaning his head back and crinkling his eyes. She loved his laugh when it was just the two of them. He never laughed as freely in the company of others, and selfishly she almost preferred it that way.

Bel’Era kissed his cheek and revelled in the warmness of his skin against her lips. “Do you like my hair short? I’ve been thinking of letting it grow out a touch.” She could feel him hesitate slightly before answering, sliding his hand to the back of her neck and smiling at her.

“I would prefer you keep it short for practical reason, and I’m sure Josephine would protest if you let it resume its original state,” she rolled her eyes at that but he continued. “However I cannot say that I’ve never tried to imagine what it would look like.” Bel’Era hummed thoughtfully at this and stretched her arms above her head, shutting her eyes and smiling coyly as she felt his gaze on her. “Well, I think I _will_ grow it out then, and in a couple of months you need not imagine.”

When he didn’t reply after seconds passed, she opened her eyes and looked at him curiously. His face flashed briefly with a pained expression, but he pulled her close to him and nestled his face in her neck before she could ask him why. Her worries fell away as strings of Elvhen poured from his lips and against her neck as he placed gentle kisses on her cool skin.

“Ar lath ‘ma uth’vhen’an, ma’av’in,” Solas said, all the while working his hands underneath her night-shirt and rest on her waist, his nails digging into her skin.

Bel’Era laughed softly, relishing in his affections. “I’ll take that as a very enthusiastic ‘yes’, then.” He grunted in reply and she lifted his shirt over his head before guiding him back down, pushing his hands above his head and kissing her way down his front. She listened to his breathing quicken in speed as she made her way lower, and silently hoped that she was able to distract him from whatever thoughts were troubling him, even if just for a while.

 

* * *

 

Bel’Era looked down at her hands on her lap as she finished speaking, not quite able to look up at Dorian as she felt his eyes on her. They were seated on a blanket atop a sand dune, the moon in the Hissing Wastes full in the sky and reflecting light off of onto the sand. She marveled in the way that after nearly 8 months of resisting her friend’s attempts to get her to open up about what had happened between Solas and herself, she chose to speak of _that_ night, a night which by all means seemed so small and unassuming in comparison to all else that had happened.

“I realize now,” she said quietly, clearing her throat and looking up and straight ahead into the seemingly endless lengths of sand. “He most likely realized that he wouldn’t be here 'in a couple of months’, and that was what had troubled him.” She smirked slightly and looked back down. “Not that I could have known that, but of course I chose to ignore his fairly obvious distress and just try to keep him happy, to avoid the problem as I always do.” She rubbed her tired eyes with one hand and sighed. “Perhaps if I had pushed him for why he was upset he would have told me. Maybe he would not have left as he did.”

Dorian clucked his tongue and shook his head, taking one of her hands and tilting her chin up to look at him. “My dear friend, if I know our Solas the way I think I do - which,” he continued, ignoring her derisive chuckle. “Yes, under the present circumstances it seems nobody really did, save yourself. Bear with me. If he thought he needed to leave for any reason, nobody could have convinced the man otherwise.” She nodded and grimaced, tears beginning to well in her eyes.

She scooted closer and lay her head on his shoulder, drawing in a shaky breath and angrily wiping her tears away from her eyes. She hadn’t allowed herself to cry, not since the day she realized he was not going to just show up back in Skyhold like he had after the death of Wisdom. When she realized that he was well and truly gone.

“The fucking bastard couldn’t have left me with closure, of course. No, he had to maintain his bullshit ‘air of mystery’ right up until the end. How else would he see himself as a martyr instead of a coward? I would have preferred he kept up our charade of a relationship until he had left. Dorian, the months in between were some of the worst months of my life. I had to pretend I didn’t hear all the rumors, pretend I didn’t see all those stuffy fucking Orlesians whispering about my bare face.” Dorian looked at her quizzically and pursed his lips. “You do not believe he truly loved you?” he said curiously. Bel’Era nodded without looking back at him. “Damn right I don’t believe it. How could you do something so wretched to somebody you loved?”

She put a hand to her face, imagining she could feel where her vallaslin had once graced her now-bare skin. When she spoke again her voice was thick and angry. “He truly outdid himself in terms of proving his distaste for the Dalish. He lured me out, took my heritage away from me, and then destroyed me. To make it worse, he made sure to kiss me right before so I did not suspect a thing.”

A sob escaped from her mouth and she clasped a hand to her mouth, willing herself to calm down but she could not stop the torrent of shaking that now plagued her. Dorian put his arm around her waist, whispering quiet consolations to her as sobs wracked her small frame. Truthfully he was at a loss. He had seen the Inquisitor upset before, even seen her cry, but this was something else entirely.

He raised one hand and wiped her tears away. “I believe he did love you.” Dorian held up a finger when she began to protest. “No, listen to me. He did love you. He probably still does love you, though he has an outrageously stupid way of showing it. Believe me Belly, if I did not believe that, I would have tracked him down and wrung his neck with that stupid wolf jaw necklace he wears. But you do not know the way he looked at you when he thought nobody was watching.” Bel’Era hiccuped and took a deep breath to still herself.

Dorian placed a chaste kiss to her temple and continued. “None of us know why he left the way he did, but Solas was a man of principle. He would not simply toy with someone for amusement. Whatever path he’s taken now, I know he regrets the way things ended.”

“You mean how he ended things,” Bel’Era whispered. Dorian nodded and sighed. “True enough. The point I am trying to make is that he did not mean to hurt you, at least I don’t believe so.”

Bel’Era nodded slowly, her eyelids heavy and she took a deep breath.

“Maybe. But he did.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and let me know of any constructive criticism you have!


End file.
